Horegusuri
by NuttyScribbler
Summary: [Completed] In a bid to capture Naruto's attentions, Hinata has a mission - Mission Kiss Naruto. Madcap fluffest featuring Love Potions, lovesick fools and one strapping, sensitive Jiraiya.


Horegurusi (Love Potion)

By Nutty Scribbler

--

Disclaimer: Naruto is the property of Kishimoto Masashi et. al.

Dedication: For Mystical, Otanjoubi Omedeto!

---

"You see this vial?" Sakura shook the clear glass container with bubbling red liquid swirling back and forth. "This is the result of my continuous study for the past 6 months," she paused for effect before continuing, "– A love potion."

"You're kidding us," Ino snorted derisively, "Love potions don't exist."

"Oh yes they do," Sakura argued. "There was this book about it in the Hokage's library."

"Really," Ino drawled out sarcastically, "and how did you find out? Surely Hokage-sama did not allow you to make a potion from the highly classified Hokage's Library, where even the jounins dare not tread."

The Cherry Blossom reddened. "She doesn't know about it," she finally confessed guiltily.

"Aha!" Ino pounced on her childhood friend. "I have half a mind to report you to Hokage-sama at once!"

Hinata smiled at her two friend's banter from her position at the foot of Ino's bed. They were at Ino's house for a sleepover – the Hokage encouraged them to do "stuff that normal kids do" adamant that being a kunoichi should not rob them of their childhood . She knew Ino wasn't serious at all in her threat; they were always arguing for the sake of arguing.

"That's beside the point," Sakura waved her hand animatedly; "I made this for Hinata."

"For me?" Hinata squeaked in surprised.

"Yes, for you," Sakura emphasized the last two words carefully, "This potion will allow the drinker to have everlasting happiness with the first person he or she kisses after drinking it."

The shy kunoichi shook her dark head, "I'm afraid I don't understand what you're trying to say, Sakura-chan."

Sakura sighed exaggeratedly. "You're going to drink this," she dangled the vial in front of her friend's pale eyes again, "and you're going to kiss Naruto."

"Kiss Naruto-kun?" Hinata nearly shouted out in fright.

"She's asking you to kiss Naruto, not murder him in his sleep," Ino said, "No need for such a volatile reaction, Hinata-chan."

"But.. but but but...," Hinata spluttered.

"No buts," Sakura thrust her face in front of hers and narrowed her eyes at her, looking very scary indeed. "Unless you can truthfully say you don't like Naruto more than a friend?"

"Iie... I didn't mean that," Hinata protested.

"Then what's the problem?" Sakura demanded. She had spent many hours in the laboratory concocting what she hopes is a masterpiece. A pang of guilt hit her in the gut for using Hinata as her guinea pig but she quickly shook it off – Hinata would benefit from it if it worked and even if it didn't work, no harm done. She had personally investigated all the ingredients and their properties and confirmed that they would bring no harm to the drinker's health before proceeding. It was the thorough research that cost her 6 months.

If the potion proves to be effective, she's going to concoct an entire cauldron and shove it down one aloof, drop dead handsome and extremely elusive sharingan wielder. No, she isn't referring the perverted icha-icha reading jounin or the mad mass murderer of a weasel.

"How do I kiss him?" Hinata finally replied, her voice filled with despair.

"Err... you place your lips on his, add a bit of tongue and a whole lot of passion?" Ino supplied intelligently.

"Ino-pig, I think she meant by how she is going go kiss him. Let's face it; Hinata-chan isn't exactly the boldest of people to walk up to Naruto to ask for a kiss and Naruto being as thick as Tsunada-sama's ten stacks of paperwork combined would probably fail to get it even if Hinata-chan does walk up to him and ask for one," Sakura explained, finally understanding the Byakyugan heir's dilemma

Hinata nodded miserably in agreement.

Ino knitted her eyebrows together thoughtfully before an expression of enlightenment dawned on her face, "Naruto won't even think about kissing Hinata even if she did ask, but Naruto will kiss Sakura if given a chance."

Both her friends looked at her in utter confusion, "What?!"

---

She fidgeted with her red dress' short hemline as she walked towards the cenotaph where Sakura had arranged to meet Naruto today. Her stomach was on tangled mass of uncertainties and apprehension and she briefly wondered how she was talked into doing this.

---

"_She can transform into you with the Henge no Jutsu and kiss Naruto," Ino explained. "Since Naruto has this crush on you, he won't reject her. And assuming your potion does work," she sniffed doubtfully at this point, "It won't matter because Naruto will be in love with Hinata-chan."_

"_What if the potion fails?" Sakura challenged. "Naruto will be thinking that it was I that like him."_

"_Don't you have any confidence in your potion, big-forehead-girl?" Ino asked mockingly. "Worst case scenario, Hinata gets awfully embarrassed and never shows her face again in Konoha."_

_Hinat groaned and buried her face in a fluffy pink pillow._

"_But hey," Ino continued cheerfully, "At least you get to kiss that idiot." _

---

She was very close to her destination now. The cenotaph – and Naruto – lay just around the corner of bushes.

It wasn't too late for her to pull out now, she reasoned.

But she really wanted to kiss Naruto, at least once this lifetime.

The grey marble monument came into view, with the blonde staring at it with his back to her. He turned around and gave her a sunny smile which faltered slightly, "Sakura-chan?"

He looked so very handsome then; he was much taller now at sixteen than he was at twelve and his spiky hair had grown to the point where even his forehead protector cannot keep the bangs out of his azure blue eyes. The garish orange and blue outfit he was so fond of in his youth had been replaced with nondescript black shirt and pants and the chuunin vest.

She smiled weakly and greeted him as she strode towards his direction, "Naruto-kun." Courage, Hinata, she told herself, Courage. You're not goosey Hinata now, but sassy Sakura – you can do it!

"What's..." Naruto's words trail off as she fiercely pressed their mouths together. His lips parted from shock and she seized the opportunity to slide her tongue into his mouth and mimicked what she read from Ino's stash of glitzy romance novels.

Those books certainly never mentioned about their teeth banging against each other, or how difficult it was to swallow the saliva buildup. But it seemed to be working anyhow because she felt Naruto's stiff body loosen up and his hands had slid around her waist to hold her more securely against him. He had taken the lead now, adjusting the angle of their heads and his tongue invading her mouth with gentle firmness.

Her heart was thumping painfully in her chest when they finally broke apart. She could see Sakura's face being reflected in the clear blue mirrors of his eyes. Dimly, she registered that his hands were still at her waist and they were standing impossibly close together.

"Do you feel any different?" she croaked. His forehead wrinkled into a frown. "My heart is beating hell a lot faster, but otherwise, I don't feel any different. Can you tell me what's happening now," he asked, his voice filled with puzzlement, "Hinata-chan?"

Her eyes darted to the locks in front of her eyes – they were still pink in color – which means she was still in Sakura-form. "What do you mean?" she tried to keep her composure. "I'm Sakura! Look, I have pink hair!" she almost shrieked hysterically from sheer panic."

He squinted at her carefully, "You may look like Sakura-chan, but you're not her. You don't smell like her and you don't act like her. Sakura-chan will never call me Naruto-kun and she'll never kiss Uzumaki Naruto willingly. She did once in my dreams, but no longer."

She sighed in defeat and released the jutsu. The Cherry Blossom disappeared and was replaced by a slightly shorter girl with dark hair and pallid eyes. "How did you know it was me?"

"I could hear your footsteps from about a mile away and smell you before I even saw you," he laughed, "imagine my surprise when a girl that looked like Sakura-chan appeared instead."

Hinata blushed painfully and bowed her head as he continued, "Now, can you tell me what is this all about?"

At the end of her explanation regarding the whole sordid affair, she was on the brink of tears. It sounded so horribly wrong in hindsight – to cheat someone's love with the aid of a love potion. It was a selfish and unethical and worst of all, she will have to live with the knowledge that he was with her not because he truly loved her, but because she robbed him of the freedom of choice.

She desperately prayed that the potion did not work after all.

Naruto did not seem to feel her panic at all. Instead, he clutched his stomach and doubled over, his entire body shaking with mirthful laughter.

Hinata couldn't tell if he was in pain or laughing. "Naruto-kun!" she said panicked, fearful that the potion had gone wrong and poisoned him instead. "Don't worry; we'll go to Hokage-sama. I'm sure she can find a way to cure you. Oh, I'm so sorry!" she cried helplessly, wringing her hands.

His hands seized hers, rendering motionless and to keep her from taking off towards the village. He peered into her tearful eyes; her unshed tears evoked a deep feeling deep within his heart. In the entire 16 years of his existence, not many people had shed tears for him. Although he did not agree with her trying to gain his affections with a love potion, nevertheless, it touched his heart that she would try and later cry for him because she was afraid he was suffering.

"But you'll get punished if you're found out," he said gently. "Love potions are forbidden."

"I don't care!" Tears streaked down her cheeks. "I'm not going to let you die because of my stupidity and selfishness."

He hugged the crying girl, drawing her close to him; his arms went around her trembling body her head rested against his beating heart. "Don't worry, I'm fine," he whispered. "It'll take a lot more than a stupid love potion to kill me. Besides I wasn't the one who drank it."

"Oh," her crying resided into sobs. They stood there together for a while, just holding each other. "Do you think the potion worked?" she asked tentatively.

"Nope. I don't feel any different."

"Oh," that was all she could say. She moved to disentangle herself from him and he reluctantly released her.

"I'm sorry, Naruto-kun," she apologized with her head bowed. "I hope you will forgive my foolishness and remain friends with me."

"Nope."

His abrupt reply startled her into raising her head to meet his gaze. "I'm not going to forgive you," he said, "because there is nothing to forgive. And if liking someone is a foolish thing, then I'm a fool as well."

He placed his hands on her slight shoulders, "The potion has done nothing to change my feelings towards you, and I still like you very, very much."

Tears welled up unbidden in her eyes again, and she moved to brush them away. "Thank you, Naruto-kun."

"Ahh," he scratched the back of his head awkwardly, "it's nothing. Just tell me straight whatever you want to tell me next time. No more potions and jutsus and stuff, kay? It gives me a headache trying to figure it out. Look, do you want to go get some ramen or something?" She nodded and began to walk in the direction of the village. Her heart stopped for a moment before beating frantically when he took her hand casually as if it was the most natural thing in the world to do.

He didn't look at her, but she could see the reddening of his cheeks. She could feel her face heating up too. Little tingles shot up from her hand that was in contact with his. Hand in hand, they walk the entire way home.

---

"So, tell us," Sakura demanded excitedly, "did it work?"

"Forehead-girl, stop pestering her and let her answer!" Ino's voice barked over the line.

Hinata giggled a little as she cradled the phone receiver against her shoulder and glanced up at the time, "It worked better than expected," she said at last.

"See, Ino-pig? I told you told you it would work," the pink haired girl exulted. Ino grumbled a little under her breath but they could sense she was excited too.

"But Sakura-chan?" Hinata came a little hesitantly, "It's not right, so don't make any more of that potion, kay? I got to go now, Naruto-kun promised to call at nine. Bye." Her connection went dead with a click.

"Easy for her to say now that she has succeeded," Sakura harrumph. Ino's reply was muffled, as though she was speaking into a pillow. "What is it, Ino-pig? I can't hear you."

"I SAID, DO YOU HAVE ANY EXTRA POTION?" the blonde's voice bellowed through the phone. Sakura cringed at the sudden increase of volume before grinning evilly. If Ino could see it, she would have felt afraid, very afraid. "Why Ino-chan," Sakura drawled, "Pray tell would you need a love potion?"

Ino buried her face into her pillow as she prepared herself to do a lot of groveling for what she wants. Stupid Shikamaru, she thought vehemently, you better be worth all this trouble!

---

Tsunade made her way into dusty room which was the Hokage's library. It was seldom used as it was off limits to most shinobi but she had spent much her youth in this dusty room lined with books. There were books about almost anything there.

Her finger traced the spine of the books on the third shelf, seeking the one she wanted. It stopped on one familiar book: a slim volume with a black cover and the inscription _Love Potions for the Lovesick _on its spine.

A smile played on the woman's face as she pulled the book out and thumbed the crinkled pages, yellow with age. It brought back fond memories of happier times from long ago.

"Tsunade-hime?!"

"I'm here," she called out.

Seconds later, a tall strapping man in his mid fifties appeared before her. "They're looking for you to start the meeting..." The book in her hands caught his eye, "Oh, so this piece of thrash is still around?"

"It's not a piece of thrash," she said defensively. "I wrote it."

"Yeah," Jiraiya looked disgruntled. "I can't believe you collaborated with Orochimaru to write this to trick me."

"It's not our fault that you fell for it," she smirked. "Most of the recipes are quite ridiculous and anyone with half a brain wouldn't have fell for it."

She had written it with Orochimaru's help to trick Jiraiya when they were 16. But they never expected him to use it on her. Only Orochimaru found the entire episode vastly amusing. But then again, Orochimaru had always been a little weird since young. You could probably tell with the long hair, white make up and lolling tongue.

"I suppose it's also my fault that the same author punched me squarely in the face when I tried to use it on her," he grumbled.

"You came out of nowhere and planted your face right in front of mine," she replied dryly. "It was purely reflexive."

"They tasted awful, you know?"

She smirked, "Blame Orochimaru, he was the one who concocted most of the recipes. I was only in charge of making sure they are not fatal."

He mused a bit, "Do you think it would have worked if I really kissed you?"

"You know these potions are made up. They don't work."

"Ahh, but I was also counting on my terrific kissing techniques to make you swoon."

His Hokage snorted, "You kiss like a puppy, and you know it – wet, sloppy, eager with no technique whatsoever."

He looked wounded, "How would you know? You've never let me kiss you before,"

She eyed him plaintively, "I don't need to jump off a cliff to know that it'll hurt."

"Would you like to try? Kissing I mean, just to prove that I am a good kisser." His voice was low and husky – surprisingly pleasing to the ear.

Tsunade looked away, "Don't, we're too old to survive a broken heart. A heart attack, maybe - but not a broken heart."

"We're never too old for love, Tsunade."

She gripped the book in her hands tightly, trying to make a witty comeback but failing miserably.

"Hokage-sama! Jiraiya-sama!" a voice called from the doorway. They dare not enter the forbidden room without permission, "are you in there? The elders are waiting for you in the Hokage's Room."

"Yes!" Tsunade called, relieved. "We're coming." Jiraiya had already started moving towards the door. She hastily shoved the fictional book back into the shelf and left, leaving it there, forgotten until the next lovelorn soul being came along and stumbles across it by chance.

---OWARI---

Might write a multi-pairing sequel if minna shows good response.

Nutty Scribbler.


End file.
